What Do Your Words Really Say?

Words: What do your words really say?

After a fight with a loved one, don’t you feel bad? Perhaps you blew up. Maybe you gave the silent treatment. Either way, your hurtful words or your lack of any words but for your nonverbal communication – a slammed door, crossed arms, gritted teeth – speaks too.

Communication is the process of expressing how we feel and what we think. Most of our communication is nonverbal, but it’s usually verbal communication that get us in trouble.

Our words have the power to encourage, heal, and teach. They also confuse, embarrass, and hurt. Physical wounds heal in time. Verbal wounds often refuse to close, keeping us tender and vulnerable.

How long will you torment me and break me in pieces with words. Job directed his words to his so-called friends. (Job 19:2, ESV)

To avoid disunity in the family and in the church, you and I are wise to tune in to Jesus’ instruction:

“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks,” and, “on the day of judgment people will give an account for every careless word they speak” (Matthew 12:34,36).

Jesus underlines the truth that we know the essence of who we are by examining the very words we speak.

Yes, your words simply reveal what’s on your heart.

The Proud Heart

Pride is the elevation of self. It results in a self-serving lifestyle and takes credit for what God has done. The words of someone with a prideful heart sound like:

• Boasting
• Flattery
• Lying
• Mockery
• Cursing
• Quarreling

The Angry Heart

If unchecked, anger may result in hatred and bitterness. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs us and causes trouble, and be it many are defiled” (Hebrews 12:15) The words of someone with an angry heart sound like:

• Lying
• Slander
• Cursing
• Exaggeration
• Rebellious
• Abusive

The Fearful Heart

Often fear arises when we face loss – loss of safety, security, reputation, family, friends, even happiness. Rather than fearing God and depending on His sovereignty and goodness, we succumb to sinful fear and our words sound like:

• Impatience
• Anger
• Jealousy
• Lying
• Abusive words
• Insecurity
• Flattery

Healed Heart, Healed Words

In Genesis 1 God spoke the world and all that is in it into existence. Along with this He created life and He said it was good, very good. Since we are image bearers of God, we are to do what He does: speak life.

Yet expelling verbal villains arising from pride, anger, fear and other difficult emotions is seldom easy.

The good news is God can and will replace pride with humility, anger with patience, and fear with love. Begin with this question: “Is God pleased with what is currently ruling my heart?” Then choose to submit to God’s rule of your heart and of your life — every action, thought, emotion, and word.

Do you need help and hope? Please make an appointment with a BCC biblical counselor. We have four locations in greater Chicago and we also counsel via Skype. Contact us today.

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