Sexual sin wants to take you hostage, my friend.
Isn’t the world’s sex doctrine everywhere today? Surf the Internet, browse cable TV stations, flip though magazines, listen to lyrics, check out erotica fiction — the world’s message on sex to women says, “Porn is normal and harmless. Adultery is fun. Something’s wrong with you if you’re still a virgin by the time you graduate high school. Experiment sexually any way you want it.”
The world’s just-do-it sex doctrine enslaves your soul. It enslaves your mind.
What I’m about to say now is super important: Sexual sin is no worse than any other sin. All sin grieves God. Lesbianism / transgender identity / same-sex attraction — these are not the “unforgivable” sin. Nor is adultery (his or yours) or fornication (i.e., sex without marriage) or viewing/reading porn.
The gospel clearly teaches that if you’re a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ your sins have been completely and forever forgiven (Ephesians 1:7
; 4:32; Colossians 2:13-14; 3:13; 1 John 2:12).
Yet sexual sin destroys relationships and opens wide the door to anxiety and depression and shame, even addictions. I cannot say it better than Dr. Juli Slattery, who wrote on her blog:
Consuming “junk sex” is immoral. What we eat only affects our temporal bodies, but what we do with our sexuality impacts our eternal souls.
I recently spoke with a woman who, after describing her promiscuous past flat-out stated, “I feel like my soul is dead. I don’t know how to connect with a man, and I don’t know how to connect with God anymore.” Although you may not be able to physically see the damage done by casual sex, there are women all around us who can testify to its destructive force.
In this article, you’ll discover 3 paths to freedom from sexual sin and to renewal.
- Share your story safely.
- Have an “escape plan.”
- Check your heart.
1. Share Your Story of Sexual Sin
Choose a safe person — a woman at your church, a counselor, a trusted female neighbor, or family member — to share your broken story.
What if you don’t have a safe person in your life? Then please us and one of our counselors will listen to your story and walk with your toward healing. No judgment.
When you share your story, emotions like shame and fear dissipate. You sense hope.
2. Have an Escape Plan
A favorite Bible verse is 1 Corinthians 10:13 because it’s full of hope and promise.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
When sexual sin has infiltrated your life, you need an escape plan. The wonderful thing is, God has provided the way of escape. Every believer has the Holy Spirit living inside her, guiding her, encouraging her, convicting her.
You are not alone. God is with you and loves you deeply. He cannot love you any less than he does, no matter what you’ve done and where you’ve been.
God gives you wisdom too (James 1:1). Pray and ask God for the wisdom to devise practical steps when tempted. They might include–
- names of trusted godly girlfriends to call when tempted.
- specific Bible verses to think on.
- Internet protection like Covenant Eyes
- ideas to get you away from your temptation, such as going to the gym or hanging out at a coffee shop.
Remember, Jesus was tempted by Satan for 40 days in the desert and didn’t sin. (Temptation itself is not wrong.) Check out Matthew 4:1-11 and see how Jesus responded.
3. Check Your Heart
Ultimately, you and I do what we do because we think what we think. The Bible uses the term “heart” as the seat of our desires and motivations. When you desire sexual sin, your thoughts overflow to actions. . .unless you use your escape plan.
Freedom from sexual sin requires a heart set on please God, not self.
Many Christian women want to end sexual immorality. They know it’s wrong. They are ashamed. Still, you are a sinner and struggle with the desires of the flesh. Like the apostle Paul, you do what you don’t want to do and don’t do what you want to do (Romans 5:17).
In counseling women dealing with sexual sin, I’ve discovered a two-fold process in renewing the mind and changing the desires of the heart
- Correcting false beliefs about God.
- Keep a thought journal to help take captive every thought, making it obedient to Christ.
Be encouraged: Sexual sin wants to take you hostage but Jesus has a radical love for you, and his radical love changes you.
